Top 6 Reasons You Own a Golden Retriever

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Do you have an overly positive person in your life? It doesn’t matter what the situation is. They could be getting laid off, a divorce, maybe they found out they’ll have chronic gas for the rest of their life. But, they’re SO HAPPY. We’re talking Mormon levels here. A bliss that doesn’t deviate under any circumstance. We’ve known a few, and every single Golden Retriever on the planet is the same.

Here’s the reasons YOU might own one of these bad(good) boys. 

A Quick Summary of the reasons!

6. You Have an Enlarged Tongue
5. You’re Always Running After Things
4. You Can Eat a Ridiculous Amount and Have No Shame
3. You’re Lovable but not the Brighest Bulb
2. You Thought Golden Retrievers Could Play Basketball
1. You are a Nice Person(okay maybe)

6. You Have an Enlarged Tongue

Accept your Tongue

You know that person that looked at a popsicle and decided it should take about 3 licks to finish? Is that you? When you open your mouth and a celebrity is near, do they try to step on it because it looks like a red carpet? You might have an enlarged tongue. 

This can be good and bad. It’s definitely something you and your Golden can bond over. While you’re taking yours for a walk, maybe you can both choose the same side to let your tongue waggle out of. So CUTE. 

5. You're Always Running After Things

Maybe this ball will fill the hole in my heart

Are you the girl who can’t let that man go? Well Golden’s feel the same way, about tennis balls. Or sniffing butts. Maybe you’re into that too, we aren’t here to judge. 

If you like the chase, and still keep finding the same old slobbery tennis ball in your life WELL oh boy you and your Golden love the same smelly things. 

4. You Can Eat a Ridiculous Amount and Have No Shame


“Is that a salad Becky? How the HELL am I supposed to survive on THAT.”

Sound familiar? Are you the friend that makes sure the classy dinner party has to end up at a Chinese Buffet? We know your pain, small portions be damned. If I’m not borderline vomiting by the end of the meal, I didn’t get my moneys worth. You, me,  and your Golden probably feel the same about this. 

3. You're Lovable but not the Brighest Bulb

“Who needs a GED anyways, there’s beauty school gosh.” 

Yes, we get it. Education be damned, you’re too fabulous for that. You and your Golden have fabulous locks of hair and charming looks, the world must bow at your feet. Skipping this whole learning thing was addition by subtraction, you have more time to appreciate yourself in the mirror now. 

2. You Thought Golden Retrievers Could Play Basketball

basketball golden

That mean boy at school won’t play basketball with your son anymore. Thankfully you’ve just seen Air Bud and you know Golden Retrievers can play basketball. “Look Theodore, I’ve purchased you a basketball dog and you’ll never have to rely on friendships again!”

We’re sorry, that movie was VERY realistic but it’s not the truth :/

1. You are a Nice Person(maybe)

I'm a lil angel kay

Do you think about church and maybe you don’t believe but you’re like .. that’s what nice people do so I should go. 

We’ve been there. I’ve even given a homeless man a dollar before, I’ve got a ticket to heaven thank you.

Does this sound like you? Maybe deep down you want a nice lovable creature to mirror your personality. JUST MAYBE

If you have any loveable, hilarious, or funny Golden Retriever stories comment below. 

Read our “Top 6 Reasons You Own a Chihuahua“!

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