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Do you take turns without your blinker? Maybe you have a lifted truck with a muffler kit on it?
You know what we’re talking about. PURE MANLINESS. What can MULTIPLY the juices running through your veins? A macho manly dog of course. Here’s our list, buckle your unfastened seat-belts.
If you’re cunning, hatching plans to make you the most dominant force in the universe then you NEED an Akita. These dogs are from Japan. They probably used to roll around with Samurai’s scouting out potential weaklings to attack. You can’t mess with that.
They’re described as being courageous, but also dignified. Because after they destroy the opposing army by tearing limb from limb, they’ll hold a burial for you out of respect.
Named after a profession with people that sign up to get punched in the face, the boxer doesn’t give a damn who you are. It’s along for the ride if you meet their standards of masculinity. They’re also sweet and pretty cute.
Look at this girl. She’s thinking, “if only the guys at work were as stoic as my doberman I wouldn’t have to project the void in my life onto a dog.” She needed some freaking MANLINESS in her life because she probably works in an IT department. The answer is the Doberman.
This thing is like the fighter jet of canines. They look like god made them in a wind tunnel to increase their chances of sprinting at you and showing you what real muscle is made of. You can’t stop that.
Bright eyes beaming with intelligence. These dogs pull lazy people around in sleds. But guess what? They don’t give a damn! Cause that’s their dog job and you will get no complaints out of a crazy freaking Husky. They can be a super hyper breed and they make great playmates.
6. Irish Wolfhound
How did a country that went through a famine find a way to feed these MONSTERS. The Irish Wolfhound is a big, bad.. friendly guy. They have shorter lifespans than most dogs because we aren’t meant to enjoy the pinnacle of creation for too long. It’s the same reason we don’t recommend buying one, you might be prompted to get a divorce when you realize something that can’t talk is better company than your SO.
This is sort of like the German Shepherd but not so mainstream. A blue jean wearing working dog that will sniff out bombs and swoon ladies. Used in enforcement applications with a mouth that looks like a crocodile yawning, you don’t want to mess with this bad boy.
Wrinkly skin and all, the Mastiff has come to accept itself. Dignified, studious, and cunning. This dog would rather be at home studying on a Friday night than finding the quickest way to barf at a dive bar.
3. Newfoundland Dog
Do you perhaps live in a treacherous environment full of fluffy snow? Here’s your new found friend. This dog named an Island after himself as a blessing, that they could begin to reach his awesomeness. (don’t google that please)
It might be cold over there, but the 150 lbs of v8 muscle provide him warmth.
Majestic, kind, and full on. The Rottweiler were former herders of livestock, now they herd hearts. It’s the oldest of herding breeds. The wisdom of how to run around things in circles used to be their main occupation. Now girls run circles around them. How much more manly can you get? Not much my friend, not much.
1. Saint Bernard
Bigger, faster, stronger. The saint bernard is a mix between the Hulk and Thor. They can get up to 260 lbs. Thick you say? Yes very thick. You will legitimately need a truck to haul around your mini giant, making this one of the manliest dogs of all.